Romantic Getaways in Hell
Posted on | March 22, 2005 at 6:24 pm | 3 Comments
One way that keeping this blog has changed my life is that it has taught me to be more observant. I’m constantly in need of fodder to write about, so I’m always on the lookout for strange events, odd people, and unusual juxtapositions. Whereas I always used to look down and keep to myself, now I’m opening myself up to the whole wide world to see what lights and sights pour into these old tired eyes. Or something like that. This weekend, I noticed something outlandish. I’m sure the Old Me has encountered this before, but never really gave it a second thought or glance. The New Me, on the other hand, was enraptured with disbelieving glee. What was it that caught my attention?
It was this old Victorian Bed & Breakfast on East Colfax Avenue in Denver. I’ve driven past it probably hundreds of times over the years, but this was the first time I actually noticed it. I’m inclined to believe that a B&B in an urban area is not all that unusual, even though I’m sure most people would prefer their romantic B&B getaways to be in more of a wilderness setting. There are a few other B&Bs in Denver proper. But what makes this one unusual is its exact location. This poor old elegant Victorian mansion is smack dab in the middle of one of the most unsavory areas of the city, on one of the busiest streets. I can’t imagine that anyone would want to vacation there.
The website says “We are also conveniently located on the RTD bus line which can take you to various locations, such as the lovely town of Golden where you can tour the Coors Brewery.” First of all, being located on the RTD bus line is not a plus. Secondly, yes, you need a bus to visit the cultural and entertainment centers of the city, but Hey! It’s only a quick stroll to myriad liquor stores, dive bars, and porn palaces! I love how the photos don’t show any of the surrounding neighborhood. Thirdly, if you want to see Golden, you should consider lodging there. The traveler review on this page sums things up nicely. For those of you who have never been to Colfax, this would be like putting a B&B smack in the middle of the old Times Square in NYC, before it was Disneyfied.
So it really makes me wonder what kind of business this place does, and if they ever have any repeat business. I imagine the out-of-state Denver neophytes looking for a getaway in Denver and running across a brochure for this B&B:
“Muffy, how about this quaint little Inn in the heart of Denver? It’s located on something called Historic Colfax Avenue?”
“Capital idea, Chip! I’ve heard that Colfax Avenue is the longest continuous major thoroughfare in the country. That sounds like a really fun place to stay!”
Then when their rental car or taxi comes within visual distance of the place, do they turn back around?
I’m sure it’s a very nice place and all, I just have to wonder what kind of people go to Colfax for a vacation. Well, it does have easy access to prostitutes. Location, location, location.
I think all my out-of-town friends should consider staying there next time they visit the area, so they can report back to me. Hey Ben, you’re going to be visiting soon, right? I’ve got just the place for you to stay…
Latre.
Comments
3 Responses to “Romantic Getaways in Hell”
March 24th, 2005 @ 10:56 pm
Addendum: My friend Ray has a customer who knows the current owner of the B&B. Apparently she bought it like six months and it’s a nice place and is doing well. I gotta admire anyone who can make a go of it there on Colfax…
March 25th, 2005 @ 11:39 am
There are B&B’s in Ye Olde Historic Brooklyn, too. They aren’t really quaint, and the one my mother-in-law stayed in once was a block away from a not-very-nice area, but the price was right, the people were friendly, and she thought it was more fun than staying at the Marriott.
March 25th, 2005 @ 9:41 pm
I used to live in that area myself, and while it’s (wherever Beaver Cleaver lived) by comparison to Hollywood, people still vacation here too… I would imagine anything affordable that’s just a few minutes from city center will do OK. All it needs is secure parking and double glazing for quietness. I’ve read that much of Cap Hill is undergoing gentrification these days.