Analysis of the Pecking Order Within Flying Reindeer Communities
Posted on | November 30, 2005 at 10:51 pm | 9 Comments
As I indicated I would do in this entry, I watched the new digitally remastered Rankin-Bass Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer in glorious High Definition. But I didn’t notice much difference. Switching between standard and high def didn’t reveal much other than a couple of extra out-of-place pieces of fur in HD. And a string on a bird.
It’s been a long time since I last saw the special before tonight, so I have a few observations/questions:
- Besides bullying, there’s also a lot of sexism in the reindeer community. Just look at their names, which seem to be of the single word variety (like “Cher”). Rudolph’s mom, Donner’s wife, is known only as “Mrs. Donner”. The female reindeer obviously have their own names as children (”Clarice”) but then I guess they lose them when they marry. I suspect the desperate reindeer housewives are pretty much locked up in their caves, cooking dinner and giving birth, while their husbands strut about ChristmasTown, hitting on the hot elf chicks and the Christmas Seals.
- Santa’s kind of a dick. Not only is he nonchalant about showing his revulsion of Rudolph’s deformity, he also disses the elves and their happy little Elf Song. If I were Rudolph, I’d be all like “Buy yourself a flashlight, fat man. I’m hittin’ the disco with Clarice!”
- How come Hermey is the only male elf with hair? I think that could be the key behind him being a “dentist” instead of a “toymaker”.
- What deformity did the doll on the Island of Misfit Toys have? She looked normal to me. She talked normal too. Maybe it was some internal plumbing problem? Baby-doesn’t-wet-a-lot? Maybe they cut out that reveal in order to pack more commercials into the hour. After all, when this special originally aired in the 30s or whenever, there were only 5 minutes of commercials per hour (and those commercials were live, with Yukon Cornelius hawking Lucky Strikes), instead of the 25 minutes they have now.
- It looked like the storm had abated by the time Santa got to the Island of Misfit Toys. So not only did Rudolph’s nose have magical guiding abilities (c’mon – one little red glowing light is enough to guide the huge sleigh through the storm of the century?), it was also able to stop the storm. I suspect some ruse on the part of the devious little crimson-schnozzed antler boy. Maybe he made a deal with some lower level weather-controlling demon. Of course they don’t mention that in the song.
- Just how much tongue was involved in that kiss between Jack and Kate? It seemed inappropriate. Oh wait, that was tonight’s Lost…
Latre.
Category: Television
Comments
9 Responses to “Analysis of the Pecking Order Within Flying Reindeer Communities”
December 1st, 2005 @ 5:51 am
Rudolph’s mom, Donner’s wife, is known only as “Mrs. Donner”
I think it’s so you know that reindeer don’t live in sin and have fawns out of wedlock.
What deformity did the doll on the Island of Misfit Toys have?
One account says that according to Arthur Rankin, her problems were strictly psychological. The article is an interesting comparison between the original GE-sponsored special and the alterations that came later.
December 1st, 2005 @ 8:16 am
I thought Ces already covered this
Doll’s particular twink.
December 1st, 2005 @ 2:49 pm
Alan, I had not remembered that until your brought it up. Or more accurately, I didn’t put it all together. It all makes sense now.
Editrix, thanks for that link – interesting stuff. I’m not surprised there have been many versions throughout the years. I wonder how old I was when I first saw this. Did I see the very first version in ‘64 when I was 4 years old?
December 2nd, 2005 @ 8:52 am
Dude! Get a life! Anybody who takes joy in trashing “Rudolph” is some kind of sick, American hating commie punk. My god, why don’t you go live in France, for chissakes! And let’s face it… you don’t want controls on video games because you support the kind of disgusting, anti-Christian lewd sex and cursing that these so called “games” perpetrate. You make me wretch!
And take that eye off of your fricken blog – it make you look like some kind of child-molestin stalker
December 2nd, 2005 @ 8:56 am
That is the Eye of Truth, and redneck hecklers like yourself cannot stand the light from it. Get thee hence, sinner!
December 2nd, 2005 @ 3:18 pm
Ah yes – I remember, Flasshe, you and I finally succeeding in finding the Easter egg that enabled the fully nude Christ in that “Jesus Rapes the Republicans” game we were playing. It’s been a long time since I’ve tasted the luscious sweetness of fried baby as well – can we maybe impregnate a few more susceptible women and force them to have abortions so’s we can fry ‘em up for snacks again? Then again, fried fetus isn’t quite as tasty as fried baby – perhaps we can lock them in that secret shed until they give birth, forcing them to watch the videotapes of John Kerry seducing John Edwards by speaking French, on infinite loop. Hail the Holy Trinity of Satan, Ted Kennedy, and Hillary the Lesbian Demonlover!
December 2nd, 2005 @ 3:55 pm
Pilto is actually more liberal than I am (or at least he claims to be, shouting from his mansion on high, and surrounded by serving wenches). However, he’s not into videogames, and apparently mentions of them turn him into a Stephen Colbert-like parody of a trailer park right wing pundit.
December 5th, 2005 @ 3:09 pm
After kicking me, My wife says she ain’t no servin wench! Pissing me off may be one thing, but pissen her off is another. I aint no commie liberal, niether, and I don’t live in no trailer park (any more — it got wacked by a tornado).
You hoity-totity, limp wristed techno geek punks think you know everything, don’t you??? You make me wretch!
December 5th, 2005 @ 4:02 pm
Fictional made-up serving wenches in a non-existent mansion on a mythical mountain are complaining? That’s bizarre. I wish my fictional serving wenches had so much life.