So Glad We Had This Time Together
Posted on | January 13, 2006 at 12:55 pm | 11 Comments
This isn’t so much a peeve as an observation. I’ve noticed it’s become something of a tradition these days to end a conversation (mostly phone conversations, but often in-person or instant messaging ones also) with one party saying “Well, I’ll let you go now”. Oh, you’ll let me go now – aren’t you magnanimous! What the person really means is “I have to go now” or “I have nothing more to say” or “I know this conversation is over, but I’m not sure how to end it” or “You’re boring me”. I have to admit that I’m as guilty of this as anyone.
The utterance of this phrase could also be a sign that the conversation has reached a lull and both parties are trying to decide whether or not to continue it. I often suspect that the non-”I’ll let you go” party is contemplating starting a more in-depth conversation but is waiting for permission (i.e. waiting for the other person to say “So, what else is going on in your life?”).
I think one reason this has become more rampant these days is because pointless phone calls have increased due to cell phones. People get bored driving (or waiting in line or vacuuming or whatever), so they call someone for a relatively pointless conversation in order to keep themselves entertained. They usually have some legitimate reason for calling, but then find any excuse to extend a conversation past its normal life.
Anyway, maybe it’s time for this to stop. It seems impolite. In this too-much-communication age, there is often a problem with figuring out the proper way to end a conversation, even when both parties know they want it to end. And with all the extra tools that technology has given us for talking and messaging, it’s become an even bigger problem. What boggles my mind is this even happens with business communications that have set agendas. How many times have you called a customer support line, reached the end of the conversation, and had the technician just sit there on the line waiting for you to say something else, instead of them doing the old “Is there anything else I can help you with today? No? Thank you for using AS&S.” It’s happened to me more than once.
How did people end conversations in more polite times, like in the Victorian Age? Maybe we need to go back to that. Were guns or swords involved? Maybe there should be singing.
Okay, now I’ve done my duty and have made anyone who reads this and calls me on the phone extremely self-conscious about what they are saying to me. Keep in mind I’m not much of a phone person anyway, so don’t worry about it. I’m the kind of person who really never knows what to say until a half hour later, which makes for awkward realtime conversing and a dependence on the other person to carry the burden (which many are happy to do anyway). I know it takes a phone-phobic person like me to put this much analysis into something so trivial. I’m just happy to put it out there and have y’all mull it over. Thanks.
Oh, and one more thing…
Hmmm? Oh, okay, I’ll let you go now.
Latre. [sic]
Comments
11 Responses to “So Glad We Had This Time Together”
January 13th, 2006 @ 1:28 pm
I have to admit that when my four-year-old niece says, “Well, OK, I’ll let you go now!” toward the end of a phone conversation, I melt.
January 13th, 2006 @ 2:12 pm
I read somewhere that women spend something like an average of 5 years of their lives on the phone. I’m going to be way, way, under that number… I probably get/make fewer phone calls than almost anyone I know. I just prefer communicating via e-mail. The “ending conversations” awkwardness is part of it for me too. I’m sure I’ve said “I’ll let you go now” lots of times!
January 13th, 2006 @ 4:06 pm
I don’t like phones either. The advantage of e-mail is that one can go on and on and on, and the other party or parties can “hang up” without being rude. Not that anyone here – writing or reading – is guilty of either of those things, I’m sure.
January 14th, 2006 @ 3:06 pm
Not something I’d thought much about, but from now I plan to end my conversations with some intriguing and bizzarre statement that will once again make the other persosn interested, or at least start keeping me under observation. Something alone the lines of, “I’ll call you tomorrow, I have to go dip my pants in chocolate again.”
January 14th, 2006 @ 3:24 pm
Hmmm, Sue, I wouldn’t have pegged you as phone-phobic. You seem fairly at ease there.
I think, in general, talkers prefer phones more than listeners. Especially talkers who know the other party won’t hang up on them.
January 14th, 2006 @ 8:29 pm
I hate phones too! I prefer face-to-face but if I can’t have that, Email and IM are the way to go.
There, I’ve added something pointless and now I’m gonna hang up bye [click]
January 15th, 2006 @ 12:21 am
I am just not the sort of person who calls people “just to talk.” Though I would have called you from DIA on the way home from FL, if it hadn’t been for the fact that our flight spent 30 minutes sitting on the tarmac waiting for another plane to leave its gate, so we had to scramble to make our flight to OAK — it was already boarding when we got there, sigh…
Heh, Joe is watching the recorded Broncos-Patriots game. I didn’t tell him who won but I looked it up online. I’m sure my dad is crushed (he’s a huge Patriots fan). Anyway, congrats Denver folks.
January 16th, 2006 @ 7:26 am
Add me to your list of phone-phobes, Rog. But thanks so much for the ideal exit line for those occasional, unavoidable phone conversations: “I’m so glad we had this time together.”
January 16th, 2006 @ 12:50 pm
I am glad we’re all coming out of the closet here about being phone-phobic. Tris had a blog post about this recently, too.
The “I’ll let you go” line is one I’ve uttered countless times, and have heard countless times, but I always read it as “You have far more important things to do than talk to li’l ol’ me, don’tcha?”
But you gotta say something. How about “Well, I’m done. You?”
January 16th, 2006 @ 2:43 pm
So why do we all have phones anyway? Heck, most of us probably have two (cell and landline). I nearly dread hearing my landline ring, because it’s almost always a telemarketer (or in these no-call list days, a charity) or it’s bad news from a relative or friend. Social outings are usually arranged through e-mail or cell phone or whatever. Though I also dread hearing the cell phone ring, because that’s frequently because of a work problem.
January 17th, 2006 @ 3:43 pm
I used to have a landline because I didn’t have broadband. I’d sometimes leave the ringer off for weeks at a time, and never kept a phone anywhere near the bedroom.
Since marrying and moving to LA, I now have a hand-me-down cellphone because the wife wants to know she can reach me at all times. It’s set up so that only her caller ID can make it ring. It’s the next best thing to not having a phone; she knows I hate calls so we mostly use SMS.