FlasshePoint

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Who’s Da Bomb?

Posted on | January 15, 2008 at 7:16 pm | 1 Comment

Pet Peeve of the Day: They keep turning my cherished childhood memories into crappy modern entertainment. Word leaked out today via Variety and The Hollywood Reporter that Paramount has greenlit Stratego: The Movie, based on the classic boardgame. Tony Scott has been attached as director, and the only star mentioned so far is Robert De Niro. They hope to start filming before this summer’s impending actors’ strike.

The Greatest Board Game Of All Time (Image from Ed’s Stratego Site)

So I might as well play along and do what I can to help not make this the abomination it is sure to be. Here’s my choices for the enormous cast:

Marshal
Allied: Al Pacino
Enemy: Robert De Niro (confirmed)

General
Allied: George Clooney
Enemy: Ralph Fiennes

Colonels
Allied: Tom Cruise, John Travolta
Enemy: Nicolas Cage, Sylvester Stallone

Majors
Allied: Will Smith, Glenn Close, Matthew Modine
Enemy: Crispin Glover, Ron Perlman, Helio Castroneves

Captains
Allied: Delroy Lindo, Kevin Spacey, Christian Bale, Gerard Butler
Enemy: Clive Owen, Anthony Anderson, Eric Bana, Edward Norton

Lieutenants
Allied: Josh Hartnett, Tobey Maguire, Jake Gyllenhaal, Heath Ledger
Enemy: Casey Affleck, Justin Kirk, Orlando Bloom, Giovanni Ribisi

Sergeants
Allied: Morgan Freeman, Bruce Willis, JK Simmons, Dennis Quaid
Enemy: Gérard Depardieu, Randy Quaid, Michael Chiklis, Jon Voight

Miners
Allied: Javier Bardem, Hugh Jackman, Ron Livingston, David Tennant, Guy Pearce
Enemy: Zachary Quinto, Eva Mendes, Viggo Mortensen, Ricky Gervais, Matthew McConaughey

Scouts
Allied: Ellen Page, Justin Long, Shia LaBeouf, Jason Biggs, Seth Rogen, Daniel Radcliffe, Jason Schwartzman, Hayden Christensen
Enemy: Garret Dillahunt, David Spade, Robert Downey Jr, Chris Evans, Robin Williams, David Schwimmer, Taye Diggs, Rachel McAdams

Spy
Allied: Kiera Knightly
Enemy: DJ Qualls

Do you agree or disagree with my choices? Who would you cast in the major roles?

Next: Risk: The Movie

Jogged Today: Yes (@ °F)
Songs That Came Up On The iPod While Jogging:

  • “Intermission” (Big In Japan)
  • “Caroline, Yes” (Kaiser Chiefs)
  • “Space Age Love Song” (A Flock of Seagulls)
  • “Mary Spins a Rainbow” (Material Issue)
  • “Careless Hands” (The Coral)
  • “Might As Well – Reprise” (Something For Rockets)
  • “The Great Communicator” (Ted Leo)

Latre.

Comments

One Response to “Who’s Da Bomb?”

  1. InfK
    January 16th, 2008 @ 3:10 am

    I think it’s important to mix in some unknowns – some fresh faces plucked straight off the street, or from some off-off-Broadway production, who will burst from the screen and launch both your movie and their own careers into the stratosphere. So I would suggest the following:
    Daniel Darjeeling
    Stephanie Vim
    Alexei Swingtrask
    Om N’Gai
    and even Tonita Upton (soon as she’s out of rehab)

    Meanwhile, where’s the movie based on “Connect 4″?

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