Do Roses Smell?
Posted on | May 8, 2008 at 9:24 pm | 3 Comments
Please explain to me what “boredom” is. I hear people occasionally say “I’m bored” and I don’t understand what they’re talking about. Oh sure, I get bored like anyone else when I’m doing a tedious task or watching or reading something I’m not really into. But sitting around looking for something to do? Never going to happen. I’ll be reaching the half-century mark in a few years, and I’m starting to panic that I won’t have enough time left in my life to do all the things I want to do. I just can’t ever imagine being at a point where I didn’t have anything to do, unless I was having mental or physical problems. There are just too many books to read, albums to listen to, TV shows and movies to watch, places to go, games to play, research to do, house projects to do, things to fix, computer projects to do, organizational projects to do, new dishes to try, songs and stories to write, new skills to learn, people to meet, conversations to have, and so much more. I get stymied every time I start a “to do” list in my PDA, because there’s just so much and I don’t know how to prioritize it or list it all. Sometimes I also get stymied (but not bored) thinking of something to do next, because there are just too many choices.
Part of what drives me on is a sadness. I’ll never really find what I’m looking for, and that depresses me. For example, I know that somewhere out there, someone has recorded the perfect song – the song that I would like above all others and never grow tired of. It’s out there – I know it. But I also know I’ll never find it. There’s just too much music available and not enough time to find it and listen to it. That’s a big part of why I have such a large CD collection. I don’t want to miss out. It also explains why I do things like buy an artist’s entire catalog if I like even one song. It’s because there could be a hidden gem that’s even better on one of the other albums. Yes, it’s something of an obsession, and I’ve been trying to curb it lately, but it’s always there, tickling my brain.
Part of me can’t wait for retirement, because then I’ll actually have time to explore some of these things. But another part of me knows that retirement means that time is running out even faster. I’ll be worried about trying to cram too much in. Strange thing to worry about, to be sure, but that’s the way my mind goes. I can never just sit there and soak it in and enjoy life. I’m always thinking about what comes next. Even when I do something relaxing like having a massage, halfway through I’m thinking “Ack! It’s almost over! What am I going to do for dinner?” Maybe I need to be bored or to learn how to enjoy boredom. Certainly the pace of life in this century is fast enough that some downtime is earned. But I can never stop looking at that clock.
Okay, time to wrap this up. Got things to do. Is it better to be bored occasionally than to always have something going on? Probably depends on the kind of person you are and what kind of enjoyment you get out of life. I get enjoyment from completing things. I know others are content to just live in the moment. Teach me how! Let me know how I can live with the fact that I’m never going to be able to do all the things I want to do!
Latre.
Comments
3 Responses to “Do Roses Smell?”
May 8th, 2008 @ 9:27 pm
I’ll never really find what I’m looking for…I know that somewhere out there, someone has recorded the perfect song.
Unable to find what you’re looking for…a song… You know, if someone wrote a song about that, it might be a big hit! Especially if it was sung by an Irish guy wearing bug-eye sunglasses, perhaps… Yes, that’s it.
Now, to find that sunglass-loving Irishman to make the hit record that will complete Flasshe’s existence…
May 9th, 2008 @ 6:14 am
Unable to find what you’re looking for…a song
I hate that song.
May 9th, 2008 @ 10:02 pm
Wow, Roger. You hit the nail on the head….We may never find it, but the search is fun, but then again, it’s all happening faster and faster.