Modesty Blaze
Posted on | June 19, 2008 at 7:23 am | 3 Comments
According to this article, a study has shown that gadget buyers/early adopters like me are assertive and arrogant. We are also possessed of leadership qualities and high self-esteem. Damn straight, bitches. I set meekness and humbleness on fire. Ain’t no one more assertive than tech nerds. Hell, after stopping by CompUSA to check out the latest 2TB RAID drives and BluRay disc releases, I will frequently head on down to my local biker bar, where I drink all the dudes under the table and have to fend off all the comely lasses yearning to touch my iPhone. And when I’m out jogging with my new Kor One Water Bottle (”Water ReDesigned”), I’m frequently passing and sneering at the walkers, dog walkers, and other runners just to remind them who’s got the right stuff. And even though I don’t much like sports, I will often invite my neighbor over for an evening of drinking expensive microbrews and watching HD baseball on my 50″ 1080p Plasma screen TV, just so I can rub his nose in it and make him feel inadequate when he goes back home to his wife. I make his kids pay me to look at my mint-in-box original Star Wars action figures from 1977.
Just the other day I offered my sister and brother-in-law the Lost third season disc set to borrow, only to yank it out of their hands and loudly proclaim, “Oh wait… you don’t have a BluRay player” (true story). Yeah, I’m a big fat jerk. But I keep those R&D departments in business and I’m always showing other people the Way. Face facts: you need me, losers.
Latre.
Pet Peeve of the Day: When other drivers cut me off or won’t get out of the way of my Prius because they think it’s a car for wimps. Oh wait, I think I did that one already.
Poignant Search Term Of The Day That Led To This Blog: “strapped or strapping on the or my or her or our bare”.
Comments
3 Responses to “Modesty Blaze”
June 19th, 2008 @ 6:37 pm
I will frequently head on down to my local biker bar, where I drink all the dudes under the table and have to off fend all the comely lasses yearning to touch my iPhone
You meant “offend” rather than “off fend” – right?
June 19th, 2008 @ 6:42 pm
Wow, that was a typo weird.
June 19th, 2008 @ 7:18 pm
You’re not immature, you’re young at heart.
I hear the 108″ TV goes onsale there in September – if you can’t afford $100k, be sure to dump all of your friends who might be able to, or you run the risk of a screensize gap!