The Ballad of Johnny McC
Posted on | July 16, 2008 at 8:36 pm | Comments Off
Katy Laveaux and Johnny McCain
Used to play on the hallowed ground
Back in the time you could find peace of mind
And not be down
Johnny McCain, a growing boy
He never felt this way before
He told pretty Kate they were now on a date
As he pulled her to the hallowed floor
She said “That ain’t no way to behave now, Johnny
That ain’t no way to behave
You got a dirty mind but I think you’re kind
And it ain’t no way to behave”
Well, Johnny McCain, a growing boy
They packed him off to war
They taught him to kill, they gave him a will
And for what he did, he’s haunted still
When he came home, rattling bones
He tried his best to fit right in
But the hippies were high, the government lied
And the hiring man wouldn’t let him in
He said “That ain’t no way to behave now, Johnny
That ain’t no way to behave
You got a worried mind and you’re in a bind
But it ain’t no way to behave”
Now Johnny McCain was sick of the pain
Of being turned down everywhere
So he made up a plan and sat in the van
‘Til the cashier went to fix her hair
He grabbed all the loot and only started to shoot
When the cop came on the scene
The judge sent him down with a sigh and a frown
And as the cell door closed, the inmates screamed
They said “That ain’t no way to behave now, Johnny
That ain’t no way to behave
You got a busted mind, now you’re doing time
And it ain’t no way to behave”
Katy Laveaux and Johnny McCain
They got married in the spring
Two little boys, one little girl
A little bit of everything
He’s working one night, she gives him a fright
And pins him up against the door
She looks in his eyes, he’s touching her thighs
As she pulls him to the kitchen floor
He said “That ain’t no way to behave now, Katy
That ain’t no way to behave
You got a dirty mind but it sure feels fine
And it ain’t no way to behave”
She said “That ain’t no way to behave now, Johnny
That ain’t no way to behave
I’ll be your loving slave ’til I’m in my grave
And it ain’t no way to behave”
–”Ain’t No Way To Behave” by Ian McNabb, from his 2002 solo album The Gentleman Adventurer*, which I just recently downloaded off of eMusic. (Note that eMusic says the release date was 2006, but it really came out in 2002 originally.) I am not making this up. I couldn’t find the lyrics online, so the above is my own interpretation, but I think it’s right. McNabb sure likes putting little twists into the last verse of his story songs, and this one is certainly no exception. I’m having trouble figuring out the point of it, but that’s not why I posted it…
(McNabb was the main guy in the 80’s band Icicle Works, whose big hit in America was “Birds Fly (Whisper to a Scream)”. Since going solo, I think he aspires to be the British Neil Young, even going so far as to have Crazy Horse backing him up on an album. Despite that, or maybe because of it, I generally like his stuff a lot. * – The Gentleman Adventurer is a great album title! It fits McNabb well. It also sounds like an album title Bill Nelson would use. It would make a great band name too.)
Latre.
Jogged Today: Yes (@ 62°F)
Songs That Came Up On The iPod While Jogging:
- “Master” (Graham Smith)
- “Live For Now” (Velvet Crush)
- “The Popular Choice” (The Wonder Stuff)
- “Nobody Knows” (Jason Falkner)
- “Homeland” (Stellastarr*)
- “Not Waving But Drowning” (Julian Cope)
- “No One’s Watching My Limo Ride” (Loud Family)
Pet Peeve of the Day: I got cut off in traffic on the way home today by a blond woman driving a convertible BMW. She then proceeded to make several turns without using her turn signal. The cool thing was that “Pampered Pop Star Millionaire Miserabilist Blues” (from the McNabb album above) was playing on my car stereo at the time.
Poignant Search Term Of The Day That Led To This Blog: “phobia of spines”.