Henching For The Naja-Naja
Posted on | July 31, 2008 at 10:11 pm | 4 Comments
In honor of my 30th High School Reunion this weekend, I’m going to pull out some old comic books from that era and get all nostalgic on your ass.
I have a secret. I’ve always wanted to be the henchman of a supervillain. They’re the cool ones. While the evil overlord frequently gets locked up (or even killed) by the hero, the henchman actually sometimes lives to face another day, and to possibly hench for some other villain.
One of my favorite evil overlords from the old DC Comics days was Kobra. He was this dude who dressed like a snake and was head of a cult. He was always trying to bring about the Age of Chaos or some such nonsense. Since he was considered godlike and worshiped by his supporters, he had an automatic pool of henchman to dip into whenever he needed someone to execute his evil schemes. He didn’t treat them very well, but they didn’t care. He originally starred in a series in the late 70s that was canceled after seven issues. It featured art by the great Mike Nassar. The image above, and the full page it comes from, is from Kobra #6, Jan/Feb 1977. (Note the cobra-head insignia on the his cowl.) Kobra’s big secret in that series was that he had a twin brother whom he shared a symbiotic psychic connection to, and when one of them felt pain, the other did too. He spent the series trying to find a way to kill his brother without killing himself, and he eventually succeeded. After his series was canceled, he became a staple of the DC Universe and went on to arch such heroes as Batman and the Justice Society of America. He wasn’t very good at avoiding cliches from the Evil Overlord list. (Note: “Henching” and “Arching” are two terms made popular by the brilliant Venture Brothers TV show on Cartoon Network Adult Swim. Kobra could easily be a Venture villain.)
So, imagine my surprise when I recently realized that my shoes carry the Sign of Kobra. The only thing I can think of is that I subconsciously purchased these Asic shoes because of the Kobra insignia. I was meant to be part of the Cult of the Kobra God. These are the main athletic shoes I wear when I’m out and about for any reason. They show that I am ready to hench, anywhere, anytime. I long to serve my master, even if it means having to eat bugs and kiss snakes. Even if failure means the Isolation Cell. Or Certain Death. Because that would be a glorious death indeed, in thrall of the great Naja-Naja (Naga-Naga?). My spirit would become one with the great Snake God.
So if you see me skulking behind a plant at the reunion, I’m not trying to avoid you. I’m listening to the voice in my head and planting recording devices in the… plant.
Seriously though, those poor schmucks did not have a good life. Kobra was kind of a dick to his assistants.
Latre.
Pet Peeve of the Day: Naja-Naja gets to wear a much shinier costume than mine.
Poignant Search Term Of The Day That Led To This Blog: “television show doughnuts”.
Comments
4 Responses to “Henching For The Naja-Naja”
August 1st, 2008 @ 12:42 am
I once wrote, or at least planned out, an essay on the life of the 2nd-tier henchmen of action movie villains. You know, when James Bond breaks free of the gun-toting guards and motorcycles and thinks it’s clear sailing – out of nowhere, a brace of helicopter gunships burst into view!
So where do the helicopters come from, and what do the pilots do on the days when Arnold or Sylvester or Jean Claude are otherwise engaged? I visualized a small metal shack with a hot plate and some well-worn decks of cards… a red phone on the wall, and shiny ready-for-takeoff choppers visible just outside.
And for the rest, you’ll have to read the essay. (which may or may not involve me writing it, I really can’t recall how far along I got…)
August 1st, 2008 @ 12:44 am
Oh yeah, there was definitely something about wishing the first-tier guards would relax and let a few heroes through now and then – getting your hopes up for an exciting chase in your speedboats or whatever, only to see the good guy fall under a hail of bullets just a few steps from the front gate, must be disappointing in the extreme.
August 1st, 2008 @ 3:57 pm
Sorry InfK, Venture Brothers beat you to it, at least in “published” form. Dr Venture’s arch-enemy The Monarch has a gaggle of henchmen, and two of them (#21 & #24) have become major characters on the show over the years (see this and scroll down to “Archvillains and henchmen”). We have been given glimpses into their private lives, including what they are up to while their master is in jail or otherwise detained. Those lives are not too far off from what you describe above.
21 and 24 are presently involved in a “power struggle” with the henchmen of Dr. Mrs. The Monarch (formerly Dr Girlfriend), since the two criminal organizations have merged due to the marriage between her and The Monarch. It’s suspense of the first order.
August 2nd, 2008 @ 7:36 am
Ah, well there ya go. The wife has always been a bigger “Venture” fan than I, though it’s not one of the Adult Swim cartoons carried here yet so neither of us have seen any in at least a year now.
But it doesn’t surprise me that my ideas have been independently re-invented – happens all the time.